The loss of a beloved pet is a deeply emotional experience for anyone, but for children, it can be their first encounter with death. Pets are often seen as part of the family—loyal companions, playmates, and sources of unconditional love. Supporting children through the death of a pet, both before and after, is an opportunity to help them process grief in a healthy and meaningful way.
Before the Loss: Preparing Gently
If a pet is ageing, sick, or approaching the end of life, it’s important to gently prepare children ahead of time. Avoid euphemisms like “put to sleep” without explanation—children take language literally and can become confused or frightened. Instead, use simple, honest language that is age-appropriate. For example: “Our dog is very old and sick, and the vet says she doesn’t have much time left. We’re going to give her lots of love and comfort.”
Involve your child in caring for the pet during this time, if appropriate. Small tasks like brushing, cuddling, or helping to make their pet comfortable can give the child a sense of purpose and a chance to say goodbye in their own way. Reassure them that it’s okay to feel sad, scared, or confused, and encourage open conversations about what’s happening.
You can also introduce the concept of death gently through stories, books, or talking about the natural cycle of life and death in nature.
After the Loss: Helping Them Grieve
Once the pet has passed, the grieving process begins. Children may react in many different ways depending on their age and personality—some may cry, others might seem unaffected at first, or even act out. All responses are valid.
Start by acknowledging the loss. Use clear, compassionate language: “I have some very sad news. Our cat died today. I know how much you loved her.” Give your child space to react, and let them know it’s okay to cry, to ask questions, or even to feel angry.
Memorialising the pet can help children process their grief. Create a special goodbye ritual, such as lighting a candle, planting a flower, or drawing pictures. Let your child take the lead in how they want to remember their pet—perhaps through a photo album, a letter, or sharing happy memories.
It’s important to maintain normal routines as much as possible. This helps children feel secure during an emotionally turbulent time. At the same time, be flexible. Grief can affect sleep, appetite, mood, and behaviour. Be patient, and offer extra comfort when needed.
Keep the conversation going. Check in with how they’re feeling in the days and weeks after the loss. Encourage them to talk, draw, or play out their feelings. If their grief seems to deepen or doesn’t improve over time, consider reaching out to a counsellor, especially one experienced in pet loss and child psychology.
A Lasting Legacy of Love
Losing a pet is hard, but it also teaches children about love, loss, and resilience. With honesty, empathy, and open support, you can help your child not only grieve but also carry forward the beautiful memories of their furry friend.
