Giving up your dog is one of the hardest decisions you may ever have to make. It’s not something you planned for, and it’s certainly not something you ever wanted. But sometimes, life throws circumstances at us that leave no other choice—whether it’s housing instability, financial hardship, relationship breakdowns, domestic violence, illness, or sudden life changes. If you’re facing this situation, please know: your grief is real, your love for your dog is not in question, and you are not alone.
This Is Not Your Fault
One of the most painful parts of surrendering a pet is the guilt that comes with it. You may feel like you’re failing your dog, or that others will judge you. But the truth is, recognising that you can no longer meet your dog’s needs—and making the decision to find them a better-suited home—is a deeply responsible and compassionate act.
Choosing to do what’s best for your dog, even when it breaks your heart, is not weakness. It is love in its most selfless form.
It’s Okay to Grieve
Giving up a pet isn’t just a practical decision—it’s an emotional loss. Your dog has been part of your routine, your safe place, your companion through good days and bad. Letting go can feel like losing a family member.
You might find yourself crying unexpectedly, feeling waves of sadness, or replaying memories of your time together. That’s normal. You are grieving, and that grief deserves space, care, and compassion. Don’t rush yourself to “get over it.” Instead, allow yourself to feel it, and reach out for support if you need it—whether through friends, family, or professional counselling.
Do What You Can to Say Goodbye Well
If you still have your dog in your care before the surrender, spend time soaking in the little things—extra cuddles, favourite walks, special meals. Pack their favourite toy or blanket to go with them. Write a letter to the shelter or future family sharing who your dog is—their personality, routines, fears, and quirks. Your knowledge and love can help pave the way to their next chapter.
If possible, choose a reputable no-kill shelter or rescue that takes the time to rehome dogs thoughtfully and with compassion. Knowing your dog is going somewhere safe can offer some peace of mind, even in the heartbreak.
Be Kind to Yourself
You are doing the best you can with what you have. Life can be unforgiving, and the last thing you need right now is more self-blame. Remind yourself that this choice comes from a place of love, not abandonment.
Talk about your dog. Keep photos. Write down memories. Cry if you need to. Love doesn’t disappear just because circumstances change. Your dog was lucky to be loved by you—and your love will always matter.
One day, you may have the stability to welcome another animal into your life. Until then, be gentle with your heart. What you’re going through is incredibly hard—but it is also a testament to how deeply you care.
